I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.