I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand