The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."