You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.