This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"