How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."