Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?