Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Wisconsin (262)

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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...

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  (262): I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf... http://tfl.nu/zbk2
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  We can Fuck in the shower to save time

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  And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.

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  (262): We can Fuck in the shower to save time (1-262): And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative. http://tfl.nu/wr55
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  She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...

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  I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.

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  (262): She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor... (262): I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho. http://tfl.nu/4nj6
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  Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?

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  (262): Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush? http://tfl.nu/mk31
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  he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready

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  (262): he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready http://tfl.nu/cfza
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  Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.

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  (262): Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin. http://tfl.nu/5ywh
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  PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES

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  (262): PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES http://tfl.nu/1xjy
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  In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"

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  (262): In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it" http://tfl.nu/19mj
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  Do I really need this much space in my mouth?

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  Are you already high?

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  (262): Do I really need this much space in my mouth? (414): Are you already high? http://tfl.nu/waj8
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  say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway

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  (262): say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway http://tfl.nu/917j
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  Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.

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  (262): Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs. http://tfl.nu/x449
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  Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.

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  (262): Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk. http://tfl.nu/thay
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  I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS

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  (262): I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS http://tfl.nu/9hqo
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  Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good

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  (262): Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good http://tfl.nu/xfxr
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  Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.

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  (262): Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning. http://tfl.nu/3fkk
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