You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.