Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever