I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Is Oprah even human
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.