I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.