I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows