I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Dating After Heartbreak
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.