alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.