While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..