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Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
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