Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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