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Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
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