Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (919)

Last Night in North Carolina (919)

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Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends

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(919): Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends http://tfl.nu/02aa

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Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.

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(919): Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate. http://tfl.nu/d4gp

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I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.

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(919): I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting. http://tfl.nu/i095

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Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.

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I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.

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It's a mixed blessing.

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(919): Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day. (1-919): I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover. (919): It's a mixed blessing. http://tfl.nu/jmyr

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Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.

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(919): Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face. http://tfl.nu/tvg8

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Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.

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(919): Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend. http://tfl.nu/ea08

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My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?

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(919): My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect? http://tfl.nu/6qrg

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I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.

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(919): I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career. http://tfl.nu/kw3u

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Coming to you live from the floor of my office..

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(919): Coming to you live from the floor of my office.. http://tfl.nu/0ate

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What happened to my knees?

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You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.

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(919): What happened to my knees? (1-919): You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded. http://tfl.nu/49nz

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Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.

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...yet.

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(919): Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem. (919): ...yet. http://tfl.nu/0q1s

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Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.

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(919): Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday. http://tfl.nu/t5o9

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You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun

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(919): You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun http://tfl.nu/syyf

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Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?

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(919): Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight? http://tfl.nu/lpr7

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so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...

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I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.

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(919): so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow... (1-919): I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that. http://tfl.nu/ee0c

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Last Night in North Carolina (919)

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