Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.