I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete