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We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
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