I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
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i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.