I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
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I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.