Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I have aggressive nipples.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
