I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids