Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?