i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Your face is a jimmy john
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button