PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Your face is a jimmy john