I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.