I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero