Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small