Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes