What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
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Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
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Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that