I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.