Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern