he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?