Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
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I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
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By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.