The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
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If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
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Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household