You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor