Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place