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9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
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