He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
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We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
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Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing