Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.