I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.