Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.