Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
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sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
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Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.