i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me