Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.