I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
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No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
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i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect