i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.