My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Girls should come with a carfax report
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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