I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
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Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.