If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.