The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.