I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.