Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free