you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
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We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
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He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.