Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...