The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you