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I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
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