When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk