I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
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No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
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I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.