when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense