Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.