It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.