Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...