And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.