I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."