I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.