I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him