You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
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I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
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Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired